Thursday, January 26, 2012

15 Ways to Feel Better: Because This Morning Kinda Sucked

It's raining today. It's rained on and off for days and days this past week, which is lousy. I was late this morning because I had a heated discussion with my mom: One of those almost-a-fight-but-not-really discussions about the dangers of the world and how it's a scary place and how I should live under a rock where I'm safe. Ok, maybe it wasn't quite like that, but it felt like it, and I was grouchy because I got barely any sleep. In general, life is just kind of dreary today, and it seems that way for a lot of people today judging by my Facebook feed.

So in honor of a dreary, grouchy, kind of depressing day, I've decided to pull together my own compilation of crappy day pick-me-ups. Not all of these are from my own head. But between my own experience with grief and counseling, dealing with the loneliness of Alex being gone, and reading literature online and in personal growth books, I've compiled my own arsenal of ways to pull myself out of slump. I think it's important to know how to get yourself up and going again, whether you're dealing with big life struggles or just a rainy day, and I hope that putting these down in one place will help me turn my day around.

  • Get up and move. If you find yourself sad, grouchy, tired, or generally feeling blah, getting your blood pumping helps! Even if you just get up and jump up and down yelling, "I feel TERRIBLE!!!" you will probably find yourself feeling just a marginal bit better. Or ridiculous. But then you can laugh at yourself, and that's just as productive. A good routine of being active will help your mood in the long run as well. Being active and excising releases chemicals in your brain that will elevate your mood, and you'll have more energy throughout the day, which will keep your spirits up. You don't have to work out either... sports are a good way to be active and not be bored!
  • Laugh! Laughter really is the best medicine. Find a stupid website: I like http://icanhascheezburger.com/ and http://upsidedowndogs.com/ because pictures of goofy animals just crack me up. Netflix and Hulu both carry America's Funniest Home Videos... go watch some poor dad get hit with a bat by his kid playing T-ball, or people falling off of things and running into things. Go find something that you can get a good long belly laugh out of, and you'll feel instantly better. 
  • Wash your face. Use cool water and a maybe a facial soap with a smell like eucalyptus or lavender, and just wash your face. The cool water will help you wake up, feel refreshed, and certain scents have an amazing power to relax and refresh. 

  •  Change your socks. This is one of those weird things I found in an article about being tired, but it works! Change your socks to a clean pair, and it instantly refreshes. I usually take it a step further and grab a wet washcloth to clean off my feet with and then put lotion on them before I put on fresh clean socks. Maybe it's weird, but I never take the time or spend the money on pedicures, so a little lotion and socks on to hold the moisture in is a good way to keep them from getting awfully dry or gross in the winter. And it just makes me feel better.
So maybe a prom dress isn't practical, but something clean will do!





  • Change your clothes. When I'm having a lousy day, or string of lousy days, I often stay in whatever I slept in unless I have to go to work. (Don't judge me, you know you've done that.)  But changing your clothes and putting on fresh, clean stuff, even if it happens to be another pair of your favorite PJs, will actually make a difference in how you feel. If changing your socks doesn't work, try the clothes change, and if you're still down in the dumps, continue to the next tip and just start over with a clean slate!
  • Take a shower! There is amazing power in a good, long, hot shower. At the end of a long or stressful day, a shower gives you time to take a breath, relax, and not think about anything. The hot water physically relaxes tension in your neck and shoulders, where most people carry their stress. And it makes a huge difference at the beginning of my day too. Waking up to a shower helps me feel more awake and ready to handle my day, and my mood is always significantly higher when I feel cleaned and well-groomed. Make sure you put on fresh clean clothes to get the most out of feeling better after a shower.
  •  Take a shower EVERY DAY. This is one that may seem obvious, especially if you have to work or you already do this. But one of the things I've learned about depression is that is saps your motivation and your will to do anything you don't have to. If you don't have to go to work, you have no one at home to tell you that you stink, or you have no particular reason NOT to stay in your pajamas all day, it's easy to just not care. Especially if you're not happy. Get up and take a shower anyway. Taking care of your body and being physically clean WILL help your general state of mind and mood. Likewise, sitting around in your pajamas or skipping the shower and doing the bare minimum to get by will adversely affect how you feel. If you're struggling, then you don't feel like putting forth the effort, especially if there isn't an external motivator to make you care. Then the longer you let yourself go, the less you feel like trying to get out of your slump. Get out of the downward spiral and make it an emotional health routine to shower every day, just for yourself. 
  •  Get good sleep. This doesn't necessarily mean sleep all the time. Feeling bad will make you tired, and if you let yourself you can oversleep and feel worse. But getting a good 8 hours a night on a regular schedule will do WONDERS for your mood. Sleep is one of the biggest factors in your emotion and physical health. To get the most out of your sleep, you should have a routine: go to bed and wake up as close to the same time every day, even if your routine during the day varies. Have a bedtime routine that doesn't include TV or the computer, both of which are stimulating and will make it harder for your brain to wind down. Reading is a good alternative. And if you have trouble falling asleep, Melatonin is my choice because it's a naturally occurring hormone that signals your body that it's time to wind down, and it doesn't become a crutch you need to get to sleep. 
My scrapbook, which is bittersweet to work on when Alex is gone.
  • Get creative! Whether you like to write, listen to music, sing, make things, fix things, cook things, decorate, or whatever, doing something creative and engaging helps get you in a good mood. It can be as simple as turning on the radio and belting it out. Or, if you want to spare your family and neighbors that particular horror, find a task to get started that will help occupy your mind. Anything productive is good, but the more creative I can get, the more happy I feel. I like to organize and decorate spaces. I've often pulled out my color printer and worked on getting photos printed and framed, and I'm looking forward to painting and decorating the room I'm staying in at my mom's to give me a sense of well-being and accomplishment while Alex is gone for deployment. It's a huge morale boost to create something to be proud of. 
  • Drink water! Another dual-purpose pick-me up. It's a good quick fix, because it helps you wake up, refresh, and feel better. Being dehydrated will make you feel bad, and sometimes you won't realize that's what's going on. A tall glass of cold water never hurts, and almost always helps my mood. In the long run, this is also one of those things that you should pay attention to for your overall mental and emotional health. Taking care of your body will affect your emotions, and the caffeine in sodas, tea, and coffee, plus the sugars in most drinks (even fruit juices!) will cause burst of energy and highs followed by crashes. All those fluctuations effect how you feel, so being well hydrated with what your body needs without the ups and downs will help you stay in a better, steadier place emotionally.
  • Eat something good. I love to eat to feel better, and it's not always a good thing. But eating is physically connected to the place in your brain that controls your mood. Chewing, tasting, the whole process of eating actually gets your body to release the endorphins that elevate your mood! So if you make good choices about what you eat, having a snack will make you feel better. Crunchy things are good for your mood, and berries help increase alertness and energy. Heavy, greasy foods may taste good and be awesome "comfort foods," but they'll have longer effects during the day to make you feel worse. Being bloated, weighed down, heavy, and tired are all-day consequences of eating bad food, so grab something good for you that you like to make you feel better physically and good mentally. You'll even feel better about yourself for making good choices. Being fit and healthy are great mood elevators!
Number one on my list, my best friend Claire. : )
  • Have a short list of feel-good friends. I've learned over a long time of ups and downs that a short list of people you know and love and that lift you up is absolutely invaluable. Personally, my list includes GIRLS (This is important! Same-sex friends are critical to your emotional well-being. I'm not saying you can't be friends with the opposite sex or that they can't make great confidants, but from experience, same-sex friends are more stable and safe if you're counting on them for your emotional well fare!). It also includes close family that always have time for me, and are all people that are upbeat, generally happy people I have things in common with. When I'm having a bad day, it's absolutely the best true fix to go through my list -- my best friend, my dad, my mom, and then my list of girl friends -- until I find someone who has the time to chat. Human interaction with people you trust and who know you well enough to be able to help you out of a bad mood is your best defense against serious depression. And for the bigger stuff, plan to get together. Go have lunch, get a massage, go to the gun range and blow holes in paper terrorist (or an Edward Cullen t-shirt)... whatever helps you feel less grouchy or lonely and be more happy.
  • If you don't have friends, MAKE THEM! Join a fitness class. Join a band. Take a class. Go to one of those Events and Adventures things or a church retreat. A Bible study or small group is awesome too. Find a way to connect with people with the same interests as you. It's not hard to make friends, even though it can be intimidating. I know, I'm terrified of putting myself out there and making new friends. But if you smile, talk to people, and are as nice and as true to yourself as you can be, people will gravitate to you. Smiling and being nice to people is all it takes. Really. And jump in with both feet! Don't hesitate to initiate a conversation or a friendship, and don't chicken out when someone shows and interest in being your friend. You can never have too many people who like you. 
My baby-sitting charge for a good part of last year, Lucas!
  • Do something for somebody else. A GREAT way to meet new friends is to volunteer. There are dozens of volunteer opportunities out there in every community, for every conceivable interest. Whether you like animals, kids, the outdoors, even pretty dresses... I found a volunteer opportunity in Charleston that a group was organizing to distribute donated prom gowns to teen girls who couldn't afford them. Schools have lunch buddy programs that you can go have lunch with a kid every week just to give them a role model. You can lead outdoor adventures, walk dogs, help distribute food from the food bank, volunteer for Meals-on-Wheels for the elderly... there are whole websites devoted to hooking up willing individuals with the right volunteer opportunities. And the best part is that you can do it for yourself. It's a reason to get up, get dressed, get out, interact with people, and it gives you a purpose. It's a fantastic way to pull yourself up, just knowing that because you exist, someone else's life is better. Whether it's a huge change in the community or as simple as babysitting for a friend, doing something helpful is a gift that lifts everyone up.
  • Give yourself 15 minutes. One of those things I already kind of knew, and was reminded by a friend: Sometimes life sucks, and it's ok to fall apart. You can have a bad day. You can be mad, sad, depressed, or frustrated. The trick is not to be a super-person, it's just learning to own your weakness and not let it own you. When I get a phone call from Alex, I cry. As soon as we say goodbye, the waterworks have already started and I'm a complete wreck immediately after hanging up. And I HATE it. But I have to remind myself that it's ok to fall apart. For 15 minutes, I can let go and curse the Navy and miss my husband and have a pity-party by myself. That's healthy. You have to give yourself the time to fall apart in a structured way to make sure it doesn't stay bottled up and come bursting out in inconvenient and unproductive ways. So give yourself the freedom to admit that life sucks, and then pull yourself together when your time is done and move on.
I have probably forgotten some of the stuff I intended to have in this list... I've never actually written everything down in one central location. Maybe I'll make a sequel, if I remember a bunch more and people seem to like this post. But these are the big ones. Bad days, grief, and loneliness are often an unfortunate fact of life, and some periods of our lives are worse than others. Mine's been a pretty crazy roller coaster ride lately, and I use a lot of these tricks to keep me going. And already, today is getting just a little better. :D

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for this Liz! Lucas is definitely a great pick-me-up!

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  2. Good tips. I need to do more volunteering. I found this site called Sparked where you can volunteer from home, and I've been meaning to try it.

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